


Heartless

by VerbenaHA



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Mild Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-08
Updated: 2014-10-08
Packaged: 2018-02-20 10:18:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2425079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VerbenaHA/pseuds/VerbenaHA
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Survey Corps. always needs some funding, and Hange has an idea that a requited romance among the captains might turn some heads.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heartless

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! If you have read this before, you may notice a few sentence errors have been corrected and 'Hangi' is now spelled Hange.

“No,” Levi glanced at Hange over the rim of his cup. “Hange, no.” 

“It would be charming though—”

“No. And that’s the end of it.”

Rumors. _Fucking rumors, that’s all it is,_ Levi thought. He was not even sure where they started. 

Meanwhile, Hange twirled an empty mug in their hands, chatting Levi’s ear off. “It would be wonderful for the blue bloods to see you in a relationship.”

“Tell me how much you’ve had to drink tonight, and I’ll consider humoring you this once.”

“Oh, I haven’t had any alcohol.”

Levi stared at them. “I’ll humor you. _What_ are you talking about?”

“You’re going to the Soiree in Sina with Erwin, aren’t you?”

“Begrudgingly,” he said with a grunt.

“When you get there, make it look like you and Erwin are happy working together; and maybe a little more than that. I’m sure the people who see you would be happy to know the Captains that they put their money and some of their trust into aren’t completely heartless.”

“And the serious violations a relationship between me and a superior officer would break have no effect on this plan _because?”_

“Because, I’ve already noticed how some of those ‘priss and pompous fuckers’ as you called them, are actually thrilled with this rumor.”

Levi turned and glared at Hange. “How so?”

“Perhaps it is for the story, maybe for the scandal. It’s probably because the idea of you and a handsome Commander risking your lives together beyond the walls sounds romantic.”

“It sounds sick and a little disturbing. If they knew anything about being out there—”

“But they don’t, Levi,” Hange said. “They don’t know that relationships are harder for us. They don’t know how much it really, truly hurts to lose someone out there. _They_ don’t.”

“But our comrades do?” Levi said slowly.

“Exactly. No one we know is going to fall for a _love-sick_ Levi act. But the ones with money in their pockets and an eye for melodrama might.” Hange leaned in close enough that Levi could smell their breath. He didn’t think they would suggest something like this, but then again, maybe they were a little nuts. Besides, it wasn’t as though Hange had not suggested horrible scams to gain extra funds in the past.

“You want me to pretend to be Erwin’s… what, lover? For funding?”

“That’s what I’m saying,” Hange said, putting their empty mug against their teeth and gnawing on it. Levi looked across the mess at Erwin and said nothing else. Erwin had spent the evening chatting with other captains. Eventually, he found himself alone with Mike.

“So you and Levi?” Mike said.

Erwin grinned. “It’s just a rumor,” he said.

“At least no one is giving you a hard time about it.”

“True,” Erwin said. “I would hate to think he was getting unwanted attention.”

“No, you keep that all to yourself,” Mike said with a smirk. Erwin just sipped his tea. “It would not look bad, I think, to the higher ups.”

“What wouldn’t look bad?”

Mike looked up at him. “I’m saying that as long as the next expedition brings us the information you think it will, I don’t think anyone will care if you and he were close…”

“I’m married to my work,” Erwin said gently, “As is he. Besides, a rumor is a rumor. There’s nothing between us.” Mike nodded, looking away.

“Is that the answer you’re going to give everyone?”

“What do you mean?” Erwin asked.

“The Soiree you’re attending in Sina, when you’re asked about Levi, are you just going to tell them you are simply too busy to be together?” 

“I doubt anyone will really ask that,” Erwin said, “But yes, that’s the plan so far.”

“So far?”

“I haven’t asked Levi about it. I’ll see what he says.”

~*~

“I already told Hange that it’s a terrible idea. A fucking terrible idea.”

Erwin walked behind him silently and it put Levi on edge. Why wasn’t he laughing or saying something like, _I was only joking?_

“Aren’t you going to say something else?” Levi asked.

“I did not say it was a _good_ idea,” Erwin said. “In fact, I would never want to trouble you with something so obstinate.” Levi frowned, clenching his fists.

“It wouldn’t be any trouble, it’s just—”

“I know,” Erwin interrupted. 

It wouldn’t be like Erwin to order Levi to play pretend: to act like anything other than whom he was. Except, perhaps, for the occasional moment when he worries Levi will say something he shouldn’t. As for the “love-sick Levi” ploy Hange mentioned, Erwin casually brought it up as they headed home for the night.

“I wanted to ask you what you planned on saying if anyone asks if the rumors are true.”

“That they’re not true at all?” Levi quipped, perhaps a little too quickly.

“Alright.”

“What were you going to say?”

“The same thing,” Erwin said while he kept in step with Levi’s quick pace.

“Oh,” said Levi. His pace slowed and he walked for a minute in silence. “Erwin?”

“Yes?”

“Do you want to go through with it? Hange’s little skit, I mean.”

“You would need to smile at my jokes, and make it seem like you couldn’t live without me,” Erwin said with a grin. Levi’s heart skipped a beat. “Are you willing to do that?”

_Yes, for you, anything,_ Levi thought. It is not how he would have imagined toying with the fat cats of Sina, however. This was more intimate, more… _personal_ than a normal prank.

Before they separated to their homes for the night, Levi turned away and said over his shoulder; “Only if you take my coat for me.”

~*~

Levi tried. He really, really tried to stay positive. On the outside, he was a brilliant actor: the lords and ladies grinned and gawked at this “softer side” of Levi. But when one too many of them asked what he would do, not if but _when,_ Erwin died on the battlefield—in however many gruesome ways they could surmise—Levi felt like shouting. He did not have to pretend that it would break him apart and at one point he nearly snapped the neck of his wine glass trying to shrug off the question as thought it could never happen.

But it _could_ happen.

“I can’t do this.” He turned on his heel and walked away, throwing out his still full wine glass into a bin while he left, weaving through hallways, looking for a place he could relax.

“Levi, _Levi!_ Stop.” It was Erwin. He was several steps behind Levi and catching up fast, but it certainly sounded like he was giving an order. Levi stood still in the hallway, glad it was dark. When Erwin caught up to him, he opened a doorway and motioned for him to enter. Levi walked in and stood still in the middle of the room. It was empty and dusty and dark until Erwin lit a lamp. The room turned a bright orange under the candlelight, mingling with the blue coming in through a window on the other side. Once he had shut the door Levi turned to watch him, his guard up. Erwin flipped the latch on the door and locked it. To Erwin, when he turned to face Levi, he resembled a caged animal ready to break out of the locked room he had found himself in.

“Levi?”

“What?” he snapped.

“Are you alright?”

“No,” Levi said with an urge to cross his arms over his chest. “They don’t understand what it’s like—out there, with the Titans. They have _no_ idea.”

“No, they don’t. Levi, I need to talk to you—”

Levi cut him off. “Why did you lock the door?”

Erwin frowned. “In case anyone followed us…”

_Oh._ Levi looked away. “You didn’t have to follow me, I’ll be fine. I just need some air.”

“You don’t have to keep up this act if you don’t want to,” said Erwin. “I don’t think stirring this rumor is bearing fruit, anyway.” Levi said nothing, staring ahead and breathing deep. “I mean to say, I don’t want you to. You can settle back to normal and if anyone asks about it, I’ll explain what happened.”

“You’re going to tell people we were acting to get their money?” Levi quipped.

“I was going to say that you broke ‘it’ off. We have dragged it out this far, admitting we were lying would be terrible.” Erwin stepped back from the door and reopened it to let Levi by. But instead, Levi stayed in the center of the room, deep in thought.

“Are you alright?” he pried, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” said Levi.

“Then why do you still look so trapped?” For a long time Levi said nothing even when Erwin prompted him to speak or told him he could go home if he wanted to. On the inside, Levi was burning up with emotions, feeling nervous. He wanted to say something, but a lump in his throat was making it difficult. Erwin sighed. “I know. I shouldn’t have made you indulge the idea. It probably sends a bad message.” 

“You didn’t make me do anything.”

“Well, be that as it may…”

“What?” Levi asked.

“I have to be very careful,” Erwin explained. “There are always rumors—you can’t have this many enemies without there being rumors about you. But a rumor about ‘us’ has been floating around. Some people think I’ve been… coercing you into doing certain things you don’t want to. I was hoping that if it seemed like we were close it would help remove some of the slander.”

Levi smirked. “What do they think you’ve been making me do, exactly?” Erwin stood quietly, hooking his thumbs into his pockets for a brief moment and glanced at the floor.

“No,” Levi snapped. “You have never hurt me. Not like that, not like… No.”

“Levi—”

“If your name is being slandered because of me,” Levi said, raising an arm and sweeping the air with it; “I’ll do anything to fix it!”

“Levi!” Erwin stepped forward and held Levi by his shoulders. “Levi, _hush._ ”

“It’s not fair to you.” Levi felt his eyes watering up, but he ignored them, holding onto Erwin’s wrists. He looked up into Erwin’s soft blue eyes with his steely grey ones and spoke. “It’s not fair to you or anyone else who follows you. All of those trainees—their families—they have to trust you. And those damn aristocrats, they have so much confidence in me. How can they take you seriously if they think _you’ve just been twisting my arm?_ ”

“Shh, Levi, it is not up to you to salvage my name.”

“What can I do?” Levi begged, not listening: “Just tell me what I need to do.”

“There’s nothing you can do.” Erwin raised one hand from Levi’s shoulders and held his chin with it. “My rank is already hanging by a thread because some people just do not like me. Rumors will always spread around about one thing or another.” Erwin sighed and rubbed his thumb over Levi’s chin, holding him gently. “It means the world to me that you feel so strongly about this, but there is nothing you could do to help.”

“Have I made you look bad?” Levi asked, thinking about his scowl and brooding nature. “Should I smile more when you walk by or something?” 

Erwin placed his palms over Levi’s cheeks and squeezed a little: “I don’t want you to act any differently Levi. No more acting, alright? If we take this any further, I would want for it to be something genuine.” Levi blinked. “I just want to tell you this, Levi: you don’t have to play along with this scheme or any other. I may have overstepped things, and I am sorry.” Erwin turned to leave, but Levi spoke up once more.

“Titans are… emotionless. Is that what you look like to people?”

“Sometimes,” Erwin says, looking back. 

“Do _I_ seem that way?”

“Not to the people who know you.”

“I thought so,” Levi sighed. He had a kinder heart than his reputation gave him credit for. Trainees looked on him for the first time expecting someone cold or careless but it was not true. It pained him to think Erwin held the same reputation: that he was harsh or oppressive. Other officers were, some of them terrifying and animalistic: immoral. But not Erwin.

Never Erwin. 

“What I mean is…” Levi said, “You do not look at me as though I’m heartless. I don’t want to look at you that way either.”

“I don’t think you do, Levi, I think you’re very respectful. Very kind,” Erwin said, tilting his head slightly. Levi rocked back on his heels once, trying to put his thoughts together. 

“But those people at the party, they don’t… they don’t understand how I see you. I mean… shit. I’m sorry. I’m bad with words.”

“That’s alright, you probably need some rest.”

“No, it’s just that I trust you.” His mind was spinning thinking of all sorts of things he could say to explain how he felt but his mouth felt dry and when he licked his lips he could feel how chapped they were. He had never felt such stage-fright; there was no other word for it.

“We trust each other, don’t we?” Levi asked, clenching his fists. But it felt like an odd thing to say out loud and he felt his cheeks flush.

“With my life,” Erwin said, honestly. “And you know that.”

_Of course I do,_ thought Levi, wishing it were easier to come out and say what he wanted to say. He strode across the room and shut the door again himself. “We could be more than that if we wanted to, couldn’t we?” he said aloud. Erwin’s lips parted slightly, though he said nothing. 

“Come down here,” Levi said. Erwin bent over just enough. Levi locked the door before he stood up on his toes and put his lips against Erwin’s cheek.

“Levi,” Erwin said.

“Have I overstepped things, Captain?” he asked. It felt like just the thing to say.

“Not at all,” Erwin said, easy and calm. Levi put his hands up on Erwin’s shoulders and closed his eyes.

“Why do you think I would go along with this charade in the first place? Why else would I ask to be practically your right hand man; why else would I follow you into danger every opportunity I get?”

“Tell me.”

“I love you, shithead.”

Erwin stared down at him for a moment and smiled. “Say that again?”

“No,” Levi said darkly, “Don’t push it.” 

There was a moment of quiet where Erwin wiped a tear from Levi’s face for him. 

“I love you too, Levi.”

Levi sighed, his voice heavy. “I hate this place,” 

“This room?”

“This city. And this room too, it’s filthy.”

“Ah,” Erwin said. “We’ll go home after this. So, tell me, _do_ you want to stop pretending for the public?”

“Shut up.” Levi put his lips against Erwin’s and held them there for a moment. When Erwin put his arms around his shoulders Levi bit down, pulling at the skin with his teeth—if he overstepped his boundaries, Erwin would tell him, but there was an inkling feeling in his gut telling him that he could take this as far as he wanted.

Levi hummed against Erwin’s skin. “When we get back in there, you’re laughing at _my_ jokes,” he said.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! This was originally inspired by a Tumblr post and it's my first SNK fanfic so far.  
> Fake-dating seems to be a trope people like. I might come up with a part two, but no promises at the moment.
> 
> Update: This has gotten almost two hundred hits in the first few hours of posting, I am overwhelmed with the reception this has gotten! So I want to thank the Tumblr blogger sadboybrigade for making the post that inspired this (I really love your blog, it's wonderful)


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